Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Turkey Day everyone!  Thanksgiving is my favorite time of the year.  Not because I particularly care for turkey- I'm really not a huge fan.  No, it's my favorite time of the year because it starts my birthday season!

Yes, I did say "season".  And I love it.  See, when your birthday falls so closely to Christmas, you feel like the festivities start on your birthday (or in this year's case, Thanksgiving, which is two days before my birthday) and then continues all the way through the New Year!  Of course I realize that most of the parties aren't for me.  But the lights, the presents, the seeing family and friends that you don't get to see often, and the inevitable blow-up creation that graces the front lawns of people's decorated houses- you can't beat it!  And when you start the month in a festive mood, it just gets better from there.

Growing up, my favorite birthday cake was a chocolate chip cake with cream cheese icing.  Between that and German Chocolate cake, I really didn't eat much more cake.  Well now, if it is "Val-Friendly" I eat it!  I mean, they are few and far between so I take full advantage!  My Grandma figured out that if you use the Betty Crocker GF yellow cake mix and omit the vanilla, it is really, really good!  When I was at Mom and Dad's this weekend, we made one of those, complete with frosting made with vegan butter.  It was heaven in a bowl, I tell you!  So now I've got my brain working, and I'm pretty sure that if we add chocolate chips to one of those mixes, and use the cream cheese icing recipe that I got out of my new favorite vegan cookbooks Have Your Cake and Vegan too, I can have my favorite cake again!  Soy cream cheese- here we come!  (just sounds wrong, doesn't it...)

As I said earlier, I can take or leave turkey.  What I can't live without is pumpkin pie.  The search for a decent pumpkin pie began almost the day I realized that I couldn't have eggs and milk- it was that important to me.  Most of the recipes I found called for something weird, like tofu, to replace the eggs.  Tofu has a time and a place, and it is NOT in my pie!  Finally, I stumbled onto a recipe that has been out since 1997.  In fact, it was printed in the November 1, 1997 issue of Vegetarian Times- but I've got a link to it right here!  If you are GF, you have to ignore the crust at the top- instead, I suggest using the Gluten Free on a Shoestring crust, and there is a link to that, plus a how-to video right here!  Oh, yum!  Oh, happy day!  Oh, happy Turkey day!  OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I refuse to let my dietary limitations horn in on my fun for my holidays or my birthday.  However, since I am going to continue our annual tradition of midnight shopping, I do have to be extra careful on Thanksgiving.  The last thing I want is to be glutenated or egged or dairyied (you thought I was going to say "milked" didn't you- Ha!) and have to miss out on the fun that is the Edinburgh Outlets at midnight.  So, I'll be careful.  And you all be careful, too!  Enjoy your turkey, your pumpkin pie and your shopping-if you are crazy enough go!  And I'll see you on the flipside of 35.  Happy Turkey Day!

Eggs and Milk and Flour- Oh My!

This past week, I got a call for an “emergency cake.”  The mom had purchased a Rapunzel doll at Target and taken it to a local bakery to have them make a Princess cake- you know, the one where the dress is made of cake and icing and you stick the doll down the middle.  It turns out that you can’t make those with a regular doll- or so she was told.  The way it is normally made is by using a creepy half-doll torso with a toothpick shaped piece of plastic instead of legs.  And the only doll torso they had was dark haired.  Rapunzel  from Tangled was NOT a short-haired brunette!  So, she made a call to a friend of mine, got my phone number and begged. 

As we were talking about the cake, I asked her what flavor she wanted.  The question that invariably follows is, “What kind can you make?”  Normally, the answer to that question is “whatever you want.”  However, this was a bit of a rush job so knew I had limited time.  I offered vanilla and chocolate.  If you think about it, you realize that I have a serious handicap when it comes to baking- I can’t eat it!  So really, the only things I can tell you are good are the things I had before I was diagnosed.  That means that I am trusting my memory from almost 2 years ago.  I don’t trust my memory from yesterday!  When I make cake flavors that I have never had before, I always do a test run and trust the people around me to tell me if it is good or not.  And my husband is really kind of caked out so I’m always looking for volunteers!  I knew that I wouldn’t have the time to test run any new cakes, so she got the boring answer.  She chose chocolate.

A couple of weeks ago, the Ranger and the Mrs. and my mom and dad came over to the house to help my hubby make the car behave.  I was making cupcakes for another birthday party that day, so I kept out a few extras for the car warriors to snack on.  (Not to mention, my favorite red-headed Turtle just LOVES Aunt Val’s cupcakes!)  The Ranger tried one of the cupcakes and said, “Are you making these differently?”  I answered that I was not, but my husband piped up and said that I had stopped measuring- which was only partially true.  The Ranger told me to continue to do whatever it was I was doing differently because they were better than before.  When he left, I asked Mom about it.  I wasn’t doing anything differently, so why was it different?  Of course, she can’t eat the cake either, but in between bites of her bowl of frosting (no, it’s cool- all the cool kids eat frosting out of a bowl!) she mentioned that the frosting tasted differently, too.  Apparently the amazing Mexican vanilla that I had been using for 2 months was changing the cakes that much.  Who knew?  I didn’t!

This whole thing has kind of thrown me for a loop.  I have been kicking around the idea of opening a bakery at some point in the future.  I don’t think I want it to be a vegan bakery just because that’s what I have to eat- I mean, I’d like it to make money and not go belly up in the first month!  My thought has always been that I could supplement the vegan bakery aspect of it with making cakes on the side.  But you have that whole cross-contamination issue and the I-can’t-tell-you-if-it-is-good-because-egg-and-flour-are-the-devil thing going for me.  So, I have to figure this out.  Maybe a partner?  Maybe I just suck it up and go vegan to see if it is possible?  I don’t know.  I’ve got a little while to think.  Until I get it worked out, I think I’ll just try to figure out a name.  Any suggestions?  “Meat-Eating Vegan Patisserie” probably won’t cut it, huh… 

Holiday Hijinks...

Well, it’s getting to be that time of year again.  The leaves are falling; the temperature is falling.  Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations are in the stores- I think I may have even spotted a few Valentine Hearts in Walmart today!  Not really, but you wouldn’t be surprised, would you?  We are a holiday-loving bunch here in the United States.  Think about it- we even make up holidays!  Did you know that today is “No Beard Day”?  Not too long ago, it was “World Egg Day” and “National Dessert Day.”  Saturday was “Sweetest Day” and Monday was “Boss’s Day.”  Yes, we love us some holidays!

Of course, not all holidays are celebrated as well as others.  I mean, you don’t see items out in Walmart four months early for “National Pickle Day.”  But we love Halloween, we love the days off and the shopping associated with Thanksgiving (Don’t get me started on that one!  I’m a Thanksgiving baby, and I used to get livid when I saw the Christmas trees out, but NO turkeys!  I’m kinda lukewarm about it now- I’ve mellowed in my age…)  and we most certainly love Christmas!  Holidays mean family and food.  And of course, that’s where my world goes sideways…

When I found out about my food allergies, I bounced from doctor to doctor to try to get things figured out.  I ended up at Integrative Health Specialists in Carmel.  They did a bunch of tests and determined that my whole system was so out of whack that I was reacting to something like 70 different foods.  This wasn’t a true allergic reaction, but it mimicked one because of the “Leaky Gut Syndrome” I had acquired.  Basically, my gut was so out of sorts that it was letting all sorts of stuff into my blood stream.  This would, in turn, cause my system to attack them- mimicking an allergic reaction.  The way to fix it was to avoid all the reactive foods for 6 months.  I got this news in October 2010.  Do the math and you realize that meant that I was avoiding the foods through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. 

I did not do very well with this.  I got very cranky.  VERY cranky.  But I followed through with it (for about 4 months- it was all I could take!) and I did feel better for doing it.  But it really pointed out to me how much we associate the ritual of food with holidays.  My in-laws traditionally have Caesar salad for Christmas Eve.  Real eggs, real cheese, really huge croutons.  Really off limits now.  My Grandma has had to switch her butter out with my vegan substitute, and no longer has a reason to make me pickled eggs.  My Mom’s sugar cream pie is non-existent to me now.  Now, I look forward to scrutinizing everything people make and asking for specific ingredients.  And I hate to do that, because if they think they have made it “Val-safe” but missed even one little ingredient, I can’t eat it.  I feel like I’m rejecting people and they feel like their efforts were for naught.  You don’t realize how personal cooking is to people until you have to repeatedly turn the items that they have slaved over down.   

But, you do what you have to do.  Some things, like my Mom’s aforementioned sugar CREAM pie, is forever dead to me.  But other things I have found ways around.  A great example of this is the Caesar salad.  I figured out that the dressing could be made without any ingredients that I can’t have and it is suitable.  Is it as good as the original?  No, no, no.  But I get to go through the ritual of eating it with everyone else- and that helps.  Another is my favorite- pumpkin pie.  I’ve found a few recipes that are workable, and I’m trying to figure out how to fix the issues that I have with the ones that I have found.  When I do, I’ll be sure to share.  Until then, here is a link to the recipe that I use now:  Gluten Free Goddess Vegan Pumpkin Pie  

The other thing that has made my holiday season is Soy Egg Nog!   It’s made by Silk, but doesn’t have the sliminess that I think their soy milk has.  It has no egg, no dairy and I think it tastes like true nog.  Ahhh, happiness in a glass! 

So, if I see you at the holiday table and I don’t eat your food, please don’t be hurt.  Trust me, I’d LOVE to eat it!  Instead, I’m happy to share my pie, or my nog with you.  I’m also just as happy to watch you eat the real thing.  I won’t be jealous much, I promise!  (Did you know it is National Cross Your Fingers When You Lie Day?  ;)

Happy Monday!

It’s a GREAT day!  Why you ask?  So many reasons!  Among them: 

1.  The sun is shining!

2.  My boy didn’t scream when I left him at preschool

3.  I got all of my shopping done when the same boy was at preschool

4.  I saved more than I spent at Meijer- I love coupons!

5. Oh, yeah…  I HAVE A NEW NEPHEW!!!!

The Ranger and the Mrs. had their baby early Friday morning.  Mom and baby are doing well- and that little boy has his Aunt Val wrapped around his little pudgy finger!  I can’t show you pictures because I used to work for the Department of Child Services and I am paranoid about kids on the internet.  (Which is why you only know my kids as C and T.  It’s possible that I am totally overprotective and slightly insane, but I’m willing to chance it! Anyway…)  But if I could show you a picture of him, you would agree with me that he is the most adorable baby  boy!  Perfectly round and pinchable cheeks, little dark eyes that stare into your soul.  Oh, I’m in love!!!!

Because the little man was born, all heck broke loose in my life for the last couple of days.  But it has been so much fun!  I got to see all of my nieces and nephews that live in the state over the weekend, and the new baby’s big sister stayed with Aunt Val for a night before she went to Grammy’s.  When Grammy (my mom) came to pick her up, I got to introduce her to my new favorite obsession- Puccini’s gluten free pizza!  Puccini’s is a local chain in Indiana, and they were my favorite pizza place before my body revolted against me.  They have some unusual pizzas, but they are faaaantastic!  And their buttermilk herb dressing is homemade and worth its weight in gold.  So, not too long ago when Puccini’s started selling GF pizzas, I was in heaven!  The first pizza I got, I didn’t even get around to sitting down before I inhaled the entire pizza.  I mean the ENTIRE pizza.  In one sitting, er, standing.  And I was so happy, I didn’t even care that everyone in the house was staring at me in horror…

So, when Mom came up to get my little Turtle girl, we ordered pizza.  I don’t think she was expecting it to be as good as it was.  She took one bite and her eyes got really big.  She finished chewing and said, “This tastes like real pizza! “  Oh, yum, don’t I know it!  But her reaction got me thinking.  Just because we can’t have the “real” thing, doesn’t mean that we should settle for something that just isn’t good enough.  And I guess I really don’t.  I am constantly trying new recipes and ideas and products to get the taste or texture that I am desperately craving.  Nature’s Pharm in Castleton has been a true lifesaver in this- introducing me to Organicville Ranch dressing, and even carrying items that I have requested- like Organicville mayonnaise.  If you have issues with eggs and dairy, Organicville is the closest thing to the real thing I have found.  I even dipped my Puccini’s pizza into the ranch, just like the old days!

I have noticed that my mood often follows the food that I have eaten. If I am somewhere that doesn’t have a lot of food that I can eat, I tend to get grumpy- I’m sure it’s a blood sugar issue… ;) And when I have had good food and have been well fed, I am a happy girl! Between the Puccini’s pizza on Friday, the smoked meat goodness at my in-law’s house on Saturday, the Pizza King nachos that I snuck yesterday and the meal tonight that I’m looking forward to making, I’m in a great mood! Now, I’m off to eat a piece of crustless Pumpkin pie. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll share the recipe next time…  Happy Monday!

Move Over Martha Stewart- There’s a New Domestic Goddess in Town!

I’m feeling pretty darn proud of myself.  In the last month, I have given Martha Stewart a run for her money.   I have canned pear jelly and homemade salsa.  I have frozen chicken stock and tomato juice.  I have made my own barbeque sauce.  I have broken down chicken legs and thighs and baked multiple loaves of homemade bread.  And last night I recreated a soup that I had at a friend’s house and fell in love with.  Yep- I rock. 

Really, the truth is that I don’t rock.  Really, I’m a cheapskate.  I make salsa because I can turn $10 worth of raw ingredients into multiple jars of salsa.  And we eat multiple jars of salsa.  I figure that we save on average $15-20+ every time I make salsa.   I made the barbeque sauce because I forgot to put it on my grocery list and I had a bunch of ketchup from a good coupon deal.   I break down chicken legs and thighs because they are about 75 cents a pound at Meijer and you can’t beat that price.  But, it’s difficult to get the leg/thigh combo into a pan and if I split it up I can make multiple meals out of it.  See?  Cheapskate.

I only canned the pears because the Ranger has a couple of trees in his backyard and I hated to see them go to waste.  Mrs. Ranger can only preserve so much with the babies around- plus her full time job.  And I don’t have a job (a paid one, anyway) so it’s easier for me to do it.  However, the canning is one thing that I think I would do even if it wasn’t cheaper or to save the fruit from going bad.  A couple of years ago, my grandparents had a bumper crop of tomatoes.  My grandmother has put her time into canning over the years and refuses to do it anymore.  So, I decided to give it a shot.  My mom walked me through it, and my grandpa gave me his supplies.  I will tell you, there is nothing cooler than using the ladle- THE ladle- that my grandpa and grandma used for years.  It is the perfect size for dumping the exact amount in the jar, and they were so protective of it that it still has their name on it.  You know you are special when you receive a gift like that.  I smile every time I use it!  When I see those jars lined up on the counter, I feel like I am part of some crazy inter-generational thing.  I know that at least three generations have got to some point in the canning process and thought to themselves, “I’m freaking nuts for doing this, and I’m never doing it again!” only to find themselves thinking the same thing the next year.  It’s like child birth- you forget how it is until you get into the middle of it again…  I love knowing that I’m a part of a line of people who are all a little nuts, and have been for many, many years!

There are other reasons why I suddenly became Holly Homemaker.  With all the allergies that I have, sometimes it is just easier to make things in my own kitchen.  When I do , then I am 100% certain that the ingredients in whatever I am making are not cross-contaminated, are safe for me to eat, and can be pronounced.  (Seriously, have you ever looked at the ingredients in store-bought chicken broth?  What the heck is autolyzed yeast?!?)  Not to mention, the things that are OK for me are often labeled “Vegan” or are made by some hoity-toity company that charges an arm and a leg.  Trust me; being gluten-free isn’t cheap.  Add the rest of it and your grocery bill can easily jump 30-50%. It kills me that my bread is $6, when I can often get the rest of the family’s bread in a 10 for $10 sale- and their bread is twice as big as mine! (Not to mention, it tastes better.  What a rip!)

God’s timing is perfect.  If I hadn’t had the FMLA issues with my maternity leave that forced me to quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom, there is no way that I would be able to make the things that I do.  My lack of a (paid) job has allowed me to experiment in the kitchen, search out hard to find ingredients and research different products sold in different places.  And I’ve been able to share that information with several people, all of whom I hope I’ve helped.  So, I get to help people and my family gets freshly made bread and homemade salsa.  And for those times when my experiments go horribly awry, the pizza place is on speed-dial.   It’s a win-win situation for all involved- especially for the pizza place!  J

Crankiness on a Monday Morning

I am cranky.  C-r-a-n-k-y.  Well, really more frustrated because I’m not an aunt again yet.  So, that makes me cranky.  As a result, you get to hear about my serious dislike of soy milk.  Not all soy milk, mind you- some of the organic versions really aren’t that bad.  But the brand Silk, the one I have 2 ½ gallons of in my fridge, is nasty.  You might ask why I would buy something I so obviously abhor.  Well, two reasons:  1. I always forget how nasty it is and 2.  I had a coupon- well, 2 coupons.  So, I have this crap, and now I have to drink it because I promised myself that the day that I didn’t use something that I bought because I had a coupon was the day that I threw my coupon binder in the trash.  

I’m not one of those crazy women who buy 54 bottles of mustard , even though their family doesn’t eat mustard, or like that one lady who bought 14 boxes of cereal that her son didn’t like but told him that he had to eat it because she had a coupon.  Yes, I have a binder.  Yes, I may be slightly addicted to couponing (seriously, you can’t beat the rush of saving 70+% when Marsh has triple coupons!) but I will not buy something that I won’t use.  Because my binder is beautiful and I put waaaay too much time into it to toss it.  So, I have to drink that sh%t.

As I said earlier, some soy milks are marginally acceptable.  It does seem that the organic brands don’t have the sliminess and aftertaste that Silk seems to have.  And I will admit that the chocolate versions are pretty tasty.  Personally, I like rice milk the best.  It is thin in texture compared to soy milk, but it doesn’t have any sort of aftertaste that you have to mask.  I can make gravy with it and it tastes like gravy.  And it is also suitable for cookie dunking.  The oreo clones from Kinnikinnick dunk into an ice-cold glass of rice milk rather well. 

The biggest thing that rice milk (and soy milk) has against them is that they aren’t really milk.  My grandpa once asked me how you milk a soy bean.  The answer?  Very carefully.  Cow’s milk has an almost velvety texture that you don’t really realize you like until it is out of reach.  In search of that texture I have tried several different types of milk alternatives.  Almond milk has a better texture, but a funky taste and coconut milk is just disgusting all-around.  For kicks, I even tried hemp milk- fitting, I know!  I took it on a camping trip to make The Ranger try it, too.  That was the camping trip when a VW minibus parked in the campsite next to us.  I was pretty sure that my people had come for me.  Hemp milk and a VW bus- coincidence?  I think not…

I know that I am not alone in my struggle to find a suitable milk substitute.  There are lots of people that are lactose intolerant or allergic to milk.  In fact, many celiacs are unable to digest milk for a good while after their diagnosis because the disease destroys the villi in the intestine.  It just so happens that the part of the villi that digests and absorbs milk is on the very top, so it is the first to go.  However, once the disease is diagnosed and a proper diet is followed, the villi heal and most celiacs are then able to have milk.  Unfortunately for me, my issue is an allergy.  I will never grow out of it or fix the issue- I can’t even do goat or sheep milk.  (Hey, when you are desperate, you are desperate!)  

So, I get cranky.  Then I deal.  I either eat my GF cookies with rice milk, or my new favorite way, with coffee and it works just fine.  So, I’ll survive without the nice cold glass of milk that I’ve been craving for a year and a half.  But I’d be a LOT happier about it if I was holding a baby…  J

The Great Baby Watch of 2011

It’s high alert time!  We’ve battened down the hatches, cleaned the house,  packed the bags, found books and magazines to read to pass the time, routed the way to the hospital, prepared the baby’s room, purchased the extra food, and made plans for the boys for when the trip to the hospital has to happen.  We are prepared and ready to go!

“But wait!” you say.  “Are you pregnant?  Are you due?  Seriously, you don’t look a day over 2 or 3 months…”  Ha, ha- very funny.  Oh, HECK no!  I’m not pregnant - nor will I ever be again, so you can just get that out of your head!  And I give the credit for my waistline to Trader Joe’s Cherry Chocolate Chip ice cream…

The Great Baby Watch of 2011 is for Ranger Rick and his wife.  Mrs. Ranger is about to bless us with another niece or nephew, well, any time now!  And when one of us gives birth, it’s a family affair.  Seriously, when I had my oldest, I was a little miffed that I didn’t get to be at the party in the waiting room.  It seemed like much more fun than the ordeal I was going through- and they had food!  So, for the second, we just had the party in the room with me!  (although they still wouldn’t let me have any food…)  So, with this baby, we have plans and back-up plans and back-up, back-up plans to make sure that we are duly represented in the waiting room.

Here’s the plan:  When the Ranger and the Mrs. are heading to the hospital, they bring Baby X’s sibling with them to meet with my Mom and Dad at the hospital.  The sibling and my Dad head over to “Kid Central”-which is my house- where Dad will watch the boys and my niece so Mom and I can go sit at the hospital and cause trouble, er, I mean, make sure that the doctors know what they are doing, er, I mean, sample all of the treats in the vending machines.  Yeah, that’s it!  Because we are pretty sure that the baby simply can’t be born unless we are there for moral support- it’s impossible!  So, we gladly do our part.

When Baby X’s sibling was born, I had just found out about my allergies.  Hospital cafeterias are somewhat difficult to maneuver through when you have to avoid wheat, eggs and dairy- and vending machines are next to impossible!  So, I learned to bring my own snacks.  It is even more important now that both Mom and I have to avoid gluten.  So, this is what is in my bag of snacks:

     1.  Kinnikinnick Chocolate Animal Crackers- great for the inevitable 3AM chocolate attack

     2.  Kinnitoos Oreo Clones- because nothing soothes the nerves like pulling cookies apart and eating them    piece by piece

     3.  Peanuts- the ultimate portable protein snack

     4.  Banana Chips- close enough to candy to make you feel like you are eating something naughty

     5.  Peanut Butter and GF Bread- just in case an actual meal is needed

     6.  Rice Crispie Treats- made with non-dairy butter and Gluten Free Rice Krispies, they travel and keep as  well as their delicious gluten-full alter-egos. 

     7.  Lots of quarters- for the occasional potato chip bag, bottle of water or can of pop you can’t live without.  Just watch out- the vending machine is “the debil!” as the Waterboy’s mom would say.  Lots of hidden ingredients that you wouldn’t think about that will make you sick.  Be extra careful with those quarters because the last thing you want to do is feel bad when you are partying, er, I mean, offering moral support…

It is possible to survive a hospital waiting room with allergies- it just takes a little bit of foresight and planning.  Combine that with the fact that a hospital cafeteria will most likely have some of the “healthy” options (like fresh fruit) that will be ok, and you are set!

Our bags are packed, we are READY to go!  I promise to mostly behave….  The Great Baby Watch of 2011 continues…